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| Beautiful Ann Catherine Helen also known as Reenie |
Over the years, as I grappled with my own share of twists and turns in life, I have learned to understand my mother a lot better than when I was younger. I am amazed at her strength and courage when I think of all the pain, sorrow and losses she has endured in her lifetime. Anyone else with lesser strength would have given up a long time before and lost the battle. But my mother has stood like a rock, carrying us forward with all she had within her. Her prayers have saved our family countless times.
A Rich Heritage
My mother comes from a family with a rich heritage. Her grand aunt Josephine Swaris was the nominated Lady Member of the Cochin Legislative Council from 1931 to 1935.
Mrs. Josephine Swaris had founded schools for poor children and had an illustrious career in the field of education.
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| Mrs. Josephine Swaris's biography published when she was nominated to the Cochin Legislative Assembly |
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| Mrs. Josephine Swaris, her husband and youngest sister |
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| Ms. Mary Appoo (in the center) with a relative and young women she mentored |
A Legacy Lost
Unfortunately for my mother and her siblings, her parents did not place enough importance on getting their own children educated. They were very well to do, these grand aunts had a lot of property and it seemed to them that their future was very secure.
Ms. Mary Appoo had taken her brother's only son Joseph Augustine Appoo as her adopted son. My mother and her siblings were born to Joseph Augustine Appoo and Carmel Appoo. Joseph Augustine Appoo barely had to work or earn any money in his life and inherited a lot of wealth. But he wasn't a good steward of what he received. He sold a lot of property entrusted to him.
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| Joseph Augustine Appoo and his family were very prosperous |
My mother's childhood and teens were enjoyable as she had good friends in Thrissur where she grew up. The friends she made during those years endured through the thick and thin of life. It was from them I learned that she was a delicate young girl who loved to sing. She loved nature since the beginning and spent a lot of time with the farm animals who were like pets to her.
Marriage and Hardships
My mother got married to Joel Augustus D'Cruz at the age of 21 and with that her life took a turn for the worse. She had to go through a lot of hardship soon after marriage and lost her first baby due to a miscarriage. She travelled to Assam with my father who worked for the Indian Air Force and was transferred there. My eldest sister was born there.
In the years while my father served the IAF, they were posted to different cities and she had to pack and unpack all the things for each transfer. She had a lot of work managing four children without any help from anyone. My father hardly helped at anything.
In fact, when it came to our education too, it was my mother who ensured that we got admission to good convent schools and met with the principal and teachers when needed. After being deprived of higher education herself, she ensured that we studied well and were able to stand on our own feet.
A Pillar of Strength
In my childhood I suffered rejection at the hands of my father who wanted a boy. (We are three sisters and one brother, my brother was the youngest.)
I didn't know until January 2016 that my father didn't even hold me as a baby for three months after I was born. My mother used to dress me up as a boy so that my father would start liking me. I remember him teaching me how to fix the radio. I even learned how to tune the television set (the old one) from inside, fix a fuse and a clock!
Her efforts did not bear fruit as almost all my life I could sense a difference in the way my father treated me and my siblings. Towards the end of my father's life (he died in January 2006) he showed me some appreciation and affection which I cherish.
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| My parents |
Her presence in my life, her being a strong pillar in our family and fighting to see that we were fed well, wore good clothes and went to the best schools gave me and my siblings the best life we could have had. Whatever sense of security I had came from her and not from my father.
Standing Alone
My mother made huge sacrifices in order to give us the best future. For many years she was locked in the house and didn't see a single movie or go for an outing. My father never bought her a single saree or piece of jewellery. She came from a family where her father doted on her and bought her every new fashion that came in the movies. She was given bonds and shares of successful companies when she got married and my father sold all of them.
She suffered a great deal as it was difficult to financially manage with one man's salary and feed four children in those years as there was nothing to fall back on. Her father Joseph Augustine Appoo had lost all the money he had and himself become dependent a couple of years after my mother got married. While my parents were stationed in Secunderabad, they helped my mother's parents and siblings move from Kerala to Secunderabad and helped her brothers and sister to begin their new life there. She always helped others, but she hardly had any help when she needed it.
Facing Uncertain Times
In the last few years we also discovered some more difficult to digest truths. We learned that my mother's grand aunt Ms. Mary Appoo had willed her property in Thrissur, a farmhouse in Ollarikara, around 5 kms from the Secretariat to my mother and her siblings when my mother was eight years old. [We have the verified copy of this will with us] It seems Ms. Appoo had seen her adopted son, Joseph Appoo fritter away all that was placed under his care. So she thought giving it to the children was the best thing to do as he would be caretaker of the property and entrust it to his children when they grow up.
All my life I have heard my mother praise her father and say good things about him. But the things we learned changed everything I ever believed about him. He did not do what his aunt had entrusted him to do. He did not pass on the property in Thrissur even though it was registered in her will by her personally. Instead he gave away some parts of that property freely and made false papers to sell some parts of it. It grieves my heart when I think about the grave injustice my grandfather did to his own children! He had no right to sell or give away land that his aunt had given in her will to his children!
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| My mother is a survivor facing life with a smile. Preparing for her second cataract surgery |
A Survivor
Besides that, she had a beautiful voice and loved singing. She was forced to stop singing by her husband and lost her good voice as a result of it. Years and years of hardship, tending to children and managing with meagre resources took a toll on her so much so that people who knew her before could not recognize her any more. The beautiful delicate young girl had disappeared, she had a different and tough countenance. The mild mannered girl was replaced with a rough and tough fighter.
My mother has faced a lot of hardship and pain in her life, yet being the survivor she is, she still faces life with a smile. She is a hero who has given her best to her family. I acknowledge that all that I am and all that I have learnt and accomplished in my life is thanks to her. Even my siblings, my late brother Noel and my sisters Agnes and Leenore have acknowledged it and give credit to her for what she has done and gone through for us.
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| The years of hardship changed her countenance |
Great injustice
The fact is that her grand aunty purchased that property from the Govt. of India in an auction and willed it to the four of these children, making them heirs. There are no claimants who can prove they legally own this property or bought it either from the real owner Ms. Mary Appoo or from the four heirs who inherited it from her even today. More over all four of the siblings would have to make decisons about any sale of the property since they were joint heirs of it.
The other grave injustice suffered by my mother is losing her son Noel in the prime of his life. He was 32 years old and had still a lot of dreams, business ideas and plans to fulfill. His life was snuffed out by people he totally trusted in, which crushed our hearts. I saw my mother suffer a great deal as they were people who visited us at home and had food cooked by her. She had believed they had her son's best interests in mind. When my mother reopened the accident case, we were in for another shock as we were told that the file went missing from the court, thus showing us that getting justice for her son was not going to be possible with all the corruption around.
My Prayer for My Mother
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| Happy Birthday Mummy! |
I pray that by God's divine hand, she will get justice in all the places where she suffered injustice. I pray that God will make it possible for her to get her inheritance back and enjoy it the way she should have at least for the remaining years of her life.
I pray that my mother's grieving heart that still cries for her beloved son Noel will receive closure and peace. I pray that our God will do whatever is necessary so that we will have peace concerning this.
I pray that she will surrounded with love and laughter, nature, pets and plants as she loves them so much!
I pray that all her heart's deep unfulfilled desires will be fulfilled and she will know that she is loved!
Dear Friends, Would you join me in praying for these things for her too?
God bless my mother for her steadfast heart! May He bless her with His abundant blessings for every sacrifice she made and all the sorrows she had to bear in her life!
Here is the link to a previous post I had shared about my mother:
