19 November 2011

Unshed Tears

Unshed tears... 
Well up when I retrace times that are gone

Moments pregnant with expectation 
Whose hopes were crushed to the ground

Words that tore apart my heart 
While I held my face in a neutral place

People who have come and gone 
Some leaving without an address

A pain so deep I cannot fathom 
A wound so wide it wouldn't heal

Buried in the recesses of my mind 
While I held my face in a neutral place

Lost on purpose with no intention to find 
A wound so wide it wouldn't heal

Somewhere deep inside me is an ocean 
That tosses and turns and makes me want to cry

I look away as though confronted by some alien or stranger 
I flee from the thought of opening that door

What a heavy burden I have laden myself with 
Trudging the long distance journey of life

No one to share it with 
They are all busy with much on their hands

Who would want to speak about heartache? 
Who would mess up a fine young evening with sad tales?

Yet I remember a friend not so long ago 
Who heard my pleas and cried with me

Unshed tears 
Years and years of tears that have gone dry.

07 November 2011

I Am Sorry

I am sorry
I apologize
I am not the person you want me to be
I am different
Someone you don’t understand.

My life experiences
Have been very different from yours
And very painful too
I had to swim across a sea of pain
To get here.

I am sorry
I cannot change my past
Or unwrite my life before
Or become what you think
 I should be.

I would love to be
The person I was before things went wrong
When my dreams were full of joy
When I knew how to trust
And enjoyed every moment.

I’ve struggled a lot to come this far
Picked up the pieces
Got through many dark nights
Shed tears by the bucket
Because it hurt so bad.

I am sorry
I cannot say this is a good world
I cannot pretend that nothing happened
And I cannot say untruths
Just to please you.

I have learnt to keep going
I have learnt I have to be strong
Cos there are times
When you have no one else to depend on
But God.

I am sorry
I haven’t been able to live the life I wanted
And I have a zest for what I missed
Which few can understand
I cannot give that up!

I am sorry
I am not just any average person
Cos I believe that there are no average persons
Everyone is special and unique
And so am I.