Do You Know the 'Real' You?

All our lives we live

Thinking we know ourselves.

Imagine the surprise

When you realize

That everything you believed

About yourself

Is a figment

Of someone else’s imagination.



Yes, there are many narratives for a story

The person who lived that story

Knows the whole truth about it,

Or is it really so?

Sometimes the person who lived it

Has also been told a lie

By someone else

For their own selfish interests.



What would it feel like

To realize you are not the centre

The main protagonist

Of your own story?

To learn that you were so naive

You believed a lie

And lived a half life

All your life...



It would feel like betrayal

Wouldn’t it?

To realize that you trusted the liars

More than you trusted yourself

And to realize the truth

That you barely know yourself

That you are miles away

From self-knowledge.



Then you scramble

To pick up the pieces

Of the you, you remembered

Yourself to be.

You step away from the world

Find a comfy corner

Where you can hear

Your own heart beat.



You shun the ones

Who lied to you

And embrace your one true self

Still yet unknown

For you realise

This bond with yourself

Is lifelong

And will last until your last breath.



You allow tears

To run down your face

And look and relook

At every detail

Every memory

In a bid to see beyond

The false narratives

The lies.



When you learn

They made themselves

The hero of your story

And hid you under the carpet

Every time you did

Something good

You feel the anger,

The grief hit you.



You realize your feelings

Were held back

Each and every time

So much that you felt life was shallow

And now you understand

Why you felt

The way you felt

You were not allowed to be you.



It is time to take back

What is yours!

It is time to shun the lies

And embrace the truth

Time to let those feelings flow

And for the liars to know

They cannot have you

They have no right over your life.



At last it feels good

To know the real ‘You’

Finally you know

You are a person

You have the right to be heard

To be counted

To speak for yourself

To live for yourself.



Henrietta Decruz

Introducing My Podcast - Timeless Words of Wisdom!

I am very happy to announce the launch of my first podcast titled 'Timeless Words of Wisdom'! 

It has been some time since God was stirring me to do this but owing to various reasons it was not possible until now. 

Introducing 'Timeless Words of Wisdom' or TWOW!

These are small golden nuggets of wisdom which simplifies the important matters of life for us. If you are interested in going deeper into matters that concern life, you will like these messages.

The first episode is on the subject 'Who should you fear?'

This is the most important question because who or what we fear impacts our life in many ways.

You can watch the podcast videos on Spotify, YouTube and Instagram too.

Timeless Words of Wisdom podcast on Spotify 

Timeless Words of Wisdom podcast on YouTube 

Timeless Words of Wisdom podcast on Instagram

Do like and share these messages with your friends so they too will benefit from them.

Thank you in advance for liking and sharing them!

Please remember to subscribe to any of my channels for more golden nuggets and Timeless Words of Wisdom! #wisdom #twow #words #timeless #life #golden #important #henrietta #fear #question #video #message #henriettadecruz

The Most Important Decision in Your Life

Life is all about personal choices. 

Remember when you had to choose what stream to study and which college to go to or when you chose which car you want to buy... 

Have you seen how much deliberation goes into choosing a house before purchase? You have to read the fine print to be sure you are choosing the right one. 

The more serious the decision, the greater the research, the effort to study the pros and cons so one can be sure of making the right decision. This is because you know that when the deed is done, there is no turning back... without losses. 

Well, you are also making one of life's most important decisions too.... It can only be made by each person for themselves. No one else can decide this for you. This is the decision of where you will go after life on earth. Everyone has to die at some time or another. The choice you are making is between heaven and hell. 

Are you doing your research to find out the truth about heaven and hell so that you can make the right decision? Just like reading the fine print on cars and houses, you can read the fine print about this too... it is in a book called the Bible. Make sure you read the Bible before you make the final choice. Do an online search on any Bible study website and type 'heaven' and 'hell' to see what is written about it. 

A person can die at anytime. A lifetime can be from anytime after birth to 120 years. But 'Forever' is endless time. If we cannot bear suffering for a few hours, days or months... can you imagine suffering endlessly. This is why this decision is the most important decision in your life. 

Choose well!

#life #choice #personalchoice #heaven #hell #car #house #research #study #college 

Soul Silence in the Pandemic

When the world seemed to stop

As the pandemic invaded our lives,

Life took a big turn

Thankfully for the better

For some people like me.

Running overtime exhausted,

No time to stop and think,

Dig deep and process internal storms,

The pandemic brought a pace

That made deep pondering possible.

Little did I know

I was digging for treasure

And would ultimately uncover

The biggest truth about my life

And discover who I am.

The freedom gained

Is a joy for life!

The things left behind

Tossed into history

Nothing to cry over.

I celebrate healing

I received restoration

Which only peace and quiet can bring.

Tranquility is a good friend

Of wisdom, I learned.

Work from home and

Not chasing the clock felt good.

But there were complaints

A bulging midriff and

Not seeing nature.

After the pandemic began

The whole world changed in the ‘Reset.’

My life too ushered a reset

As I sifted through life experiences

And put together the ‘real’ me.

I learned stillness and silence

Can do you good

Embrace the timeless moment

And make it only yours

No one can live life for you.

- Henrietta Decruz 

Oh What a Miracle! – Song by Henrietta Decruz

 

If you are going through a hard time in your life right now, here's a song to encourage you. 

This song brings out the stories of Lazarus, Joseph and Mephibosheth to show how the Lord in His faithfulness brought them out of impossible situations that they found themselves in. 

If you are faced with an impossible situation, let me remind you He is a God Who changes not! 

Hebrews 13:8 says, "Jesus Christ is [eternally changeless, always] the same yesterday and today and forever."     

You can listen to the song at this link - 

Oh What a Miracle! - song by Henrietta Decruz 

Here are the lyrics of the song: 

Oh What a Miracle! – Song by Henrietta Decruz

 

They left me for dead in a tomb four days,
Thinking my life was over
Then my Lord came wept for me
And called out my name and said, ‘Come out Lazarus!’

Chorus:

Oh What a miracle Jesus did for me,

I have no words to thank Him

He set me free

He gave me life

No other can be

What Jesus is to me!

They threw me in a pit sold me for a slave

Thinking my life was over
And my Lord was with me even in prison
He brought me out and made me powerful.

Chorus

She dropped me as a child I lost my true form

I thought my life was over
Then my Lord sent David to help me
He gave me all I needed.

Chorus

Have you been written off struggling in a dark place

Thinking your life is over
Just look up to Jesus for He has the power
To change your whole life and set you free
Look up to Jesus He has the power
To change your whole life and set you free

Chorus

No other can be

What my Jesus is to me!

 

Written, composed and sung by Henrietta Decruz - Copyright 2021

 

 

 

 

To the Tired and Weary Soul

Get some rest

Be true to yourself
when everything around you
is falling apart
and things begin to look unfamiliar.
Sure the landscape has changed
people are scattered
and our hopes feel uncertain
shaken and dim.

People in your life may leave you
you may feel isolated and left out
but there is one person who's never left you
and that is the person within you.
You have been a good friend to others
you have been loyal and faithful to family
you could even be kind to a stranger
now won't you be good to your self?

When you begin to love who you are
you will begin to learn who you really are
the One who created you will come beside you
and strengthen you to complete your journey.
While the world spins out of control
in faith hold on to your Creator
have faith in the One who fashioned you
He will tide you through the storm.

Your journey doesn't end in this world
you are a rider destined to journey through eternity
you are a soul that has to weather ups and downs
in this life and you still have to learn some lessons.
If you get tired and break down now
you will lose your strength, your focus
you need to regroup and rebuild yourself
this world needs you that is why the Creator made you.

There is something very precious deposited in you
which no one else can give to this world.
Don't you believe those who only want to tear you down
their lies will grieve your heart and tear your soul if you let them.
If you cannot trust yourself, trust your Creator
He invested so much in you, He knows you and loves you
He will carry you when you are tired
and rejuvenate you when you need rest.

There are days written in your book by the Creator
He who planned your life knows when to call you home
Time in this body is finite
but time as a soul is infinite.
Live every day given to you with joy
For some given day each will leave this body
and fly away to meet their Creator
for everyone born must someday die.

The time you have on earth is precious
for you choose how to spend it.
It is a gift you give someone to treasure
so choose how you spend it with care.
Why stay in a prison of grief and sorrow
when every day invites you to smile?
Why cry for what has been when you can dream
and your dreams can make this world a better place?


~ Henrietta Decruz
© May 2020

You are a ripple. Your presence makes a difference in this world.

Wisdom says...

Time passes by

It floats when we don't know what to do

Slipping through some crevice or hole in the door

Before you know, it is gone

The clock ticks 

As though there was nothing else to do

Breathe in, breathe out

speak softly, be silent or let out a shout

Tell the world you live

Else how would anyone know you were around. 

I lived many years bound by musts and shoulds

Barely free to be myself

Telling myself to be this or that

To receive acceptance, understanding or love. 

That was the last chapter of my life. 

Standing at the threshold

Of a brand new chapter

I smile at the redundant and useless things 

That I allowed to affect me 

In years gone by.

I gave power to some to hurt me, use me or abuse me

No more! Not any more. 

I gave them power to suggest things I would never have done

Now I define what I do and do not do

I choose the principles I live my life by

Not the world, not the people, not the who's who

Not just about anyone... I decide!

I choose to be who I am fully and fulfill my destiny

God thought it necessary to create a person like me

Why should I fret? 

I cannot go back and retrieve lost energy or time

I cannot undo all that they did

But I have made a decision to not let them steal

One more moment, one bit of my precious time 

Or heart affection from me for I know I deserve better!

I forgive, I let go so I don't have to remember

What I don't want to remember

I let God decide what to do with the bygones

He was witness, He knows how to deal with it

I fully trust Him with my whole life. 

Some decades have been spent

How much life do I have left?

So much to do... so little is done

It is time to focus on the life left to live

What I can do and what I can give. 

Trivial things will no more have centrestage 

Lessons learnt, heart prepared

Mind groomed, spirit ready

New Life beckons, time to move on

No, no more turning back! 

- Henrietta Decruz 

 

Healing and Restoration - Everyone Needs it!!

Hello Everyone!

For those who follow my blog closely, you must have wondered where I disappeared! Well for the truth to be told, there are times when we need to take a dive within ourselves. We need to search and ponder and bring to a sense of order to our memories, our sense of who we are and whom we belong to... and also the meaning of life and what we really want to do with it. 

I felt it was time and so I took off. I needed to come to terms with my own life story and all the life experiences I have been through in this lifetime. I'm happy to say that I have found peace and refreshing at last! 

During this time I was really blessed to attend a 3 Day Workshop on Child Emotional Trauma and Trauma Informed Care organized by the Child Healing Centre, Bangalore. The trainers of the workshop were Ruby Johnston and Lynn Johnston of the LAMb International Canada and USA. George Ebenezer, the Managing Director of Child Healing Centre and Santhosa Samsara Social Charitable Trust was instrumental in organizing this workshop. 

The workshop was a great tool in helping me come to terms with my own life story. It also helped me understand how children from hard places needed to be cared for. One of the things Ruby Johnston said was that each child had a unique story and only they 'own' that story. It is the story of their life. 

I've spent years trying to grapple with my life story because I too am a child from a hard place. I find various reactions from people when I share a painful truth about my life and most of the time it would make me regret sharing as people don't understand where I am coming from or my reasons for sharing them. Some people think I am speaking ill of the 'persons' in my story but there is a difference between saying something to malign a person and speaking the truth about what happened to you. 

This workshop helped me realize that I own my story, my story is about what really happened to me. My story belongs to only me and not anyone else even in my family. No one else may understand my story or have felt what I went through. They don't have to because they have their own story! This brought me great peace and restoration because finally I could deal with all the voices and fingers that were pointing at me as though I am doing something wrong.  

I would encourage everyone to take time to go deep within and set right the doubts and questions you have about your past. Find answers and set the past free so you can live your life in a meaningful and fruitful way. Only when we own our identity completely having made peace with our past, can we live in the present in a natural and confident way.  

It is not easy for those who have not had 'normal' lives to do this. Not everyone comes from 'normal families.' Many people have had experiences of trauma at some point in their lives. Some are still facing it in their present. The workshop taught me that living with consistent pain for a number of years has a deep impact in how the brain functions and it can change the personality of the person too. 

It is sad that most of the time people living with pain are advised to not speak about it to anyone. Our society likes to behave like a monster that forces them to hide their sorrows and trauma under a carpet! This is nothing less than swallowing people alive as it inhibits them from finding their 'real self' and living a fulfilling and meaningful life! 

In some countries like the US and in Europe trauma care is very advanced and professionals assist such persons to overcome the challenges they face in life. There is no stigma attached, so those who are broken in spirit and broken-hearted can reach out and get the help they need. However, most countries have a long way to go to get there. India is one of them!

My understanding of children who have gone through trauma has increased a great deal thanks to Olga Martin, the founder of Street-Heroes Of India (SOI). SOI has been helping children from hard places who are housed in children's home find healing and restoration through various kinds of therapy including art, music, drama, dance and the like.

Thanks to George Ebenezer's efforts through Child Healing Centre, Bangalore things are beginning to change! They have planned a set of similar workshops across India! I believe this will help bring the change that India needs so much! If you are interested in participating in any of their future workshops do drop him a line!

Let us bring real change to India! Let us bring awareness in this nation so that children from hard places can find healing and restoration and live a life of peace!  

~ Henrietta Decruz 

If you would like to read more, do check these links: 
Adverse Childhood Experiences 
Can Family Secrets Make You Sick? 
The Toll of Childhood Trauma 

Breakthrough

A moment of birthing...
A transformation
A bringing to life
A sudden surge of energy
That catapults you
To a different dimension!

No looking back
No fretting
No complaints
No regrets
The joy of discovering
Your power is great!

What lies behind
Is in black and white
A lesson in time
A canvas with memories
A picture album
To visit sometimes.

Free your 'self'
There is no cage
There is no prison
Just an unending vast sky
That welcomes you
To dream and fly!

Yours every dream
Yours every opportunity
Yours is the vision
Bring it alive
Make it happen
Find your place under the sun!

~ Henrietta Decruz

Disclaimer: No copyright is claimed for any of the images used here. 

Beauty Dies

When the beautiful things of life are pierced...

Unkindness, indifference or lack of concern

The beauty is marred

Its life shrivels

It dies.

It is better to not give

Your precious and beautiful things

To those who do not care

Their carelessness

Can kill.

A loving heart suffers all

But a time comes when it looks back

And realizes the loving was lost

It wasn’t to the right people

It stops.

~ Henrietta Decruz

My Empty Canvas

I look at the empty canvas of my life

Empty pages yet to be written

Ideas floating in front of me

Each represents what can

Fill this canvas.

I look at the canvases 

Filled in time gone by

Some gloomy and grey

Some cheerful and positive

Some mixed with myriad shades.

I want my life to be different

I want to shake off the chains that throttle

I want to fill my life with many hues

I want to live out the whole spectrum

And fulfill my destiny.

I know my life is fleeting

I know the scroll of time is limited

I look at those who lost their strength

And realize I must choose wisely

For life gives just one chance.

Let me fill my heart with goodness

Let me experience inner peace

Let me spread some cheer around me

Live a life that is free and complete

Before the last drop fills the canvas.

~ Henrietta Decruz 

A Beautiful Mosaic

Today I was picking up the pieces

Fragments of my life

That I had sealed and put away.

I unpacked them and found

To my great joy

They still fitted into their original place!

I unlocked many memories

Of things I had accomplished

But had pushed into a corner somewhere.

As the pieces came together

I found it became a beautiful mosaic

As the rays of light shone through.

I was afraid to open the boxes

But now I realized

In opening them I released myself at last!

Nothing comes into our lives

Without a purpose

Everything has a nugget of gold in them. 

~ Henrietta Decruz

P.S: No copyright is claimed for the photographs. Credits belong only to the photographer. 

Sometimes

Sometimes in the journey of my life

I turn around to see

If someone cares enough to walk along.

There are moments in my life

When more than the hustle and bustle

I need the quiet assurance of love.

Sometimes I talk to people

Who do not respond

In the hope that someday they will.

Sometimes I get weary of waiting

Just to know I matter to them

When I have given them a pedestal in my heart.

Sometimes I wonder

Why the world is full of walls

While I try my best to build bridges!

~ Henrietta Decruz

Wounded Soldier

Wounded soldier soldier

Just come home from the fight

Feeling no one wants you 

So confused of wrong and right

Wondering how it is going to be

Now that life has changed so much

Wondering if you’re equal

To challenges in sight!

Wounded soldier soldier

You still have to fight

Wounded soldier soldier

This war of life!

Things have changed

They no longer look the same

Yesterday you were strong

Today it is just a memory

Longing for that feeling

The feeling it’s alright!

Crying out in pain and misery

For wounds you cannot see

Wondering if you’ll get well

If you can move on in life!

Wounded soldier soldier

You’re still a hero deep inside

Come on and hold your pride!

Times are changing they say

The war raises questions

Leave no answers behind

You’re still facing the burdens

Ever since that day…

How can you ever forget

The journey to the war

The prodding and the pruning

To sharpen your reflex

And when that moment came

And you were down

Wounded soldier soldier

You still wear the crown

For standing and believing 
It’s right to fight for a just cause!

~ Written and composed by Henrietta Decruz

Love that frees

In all the days of my life

Never have I seen

Love that encompasses me

And yet sets me free.

Such amazing love

That affords me the privilege

To grow, to live, to breathe and thrive

Can only come from God!

Your love O Lord

Has made me strong

Given me strength

To overcome wrong!

You condescend

You touch me

A lowly soul made of dust

You made great.

When I am lonely

When I cry in pain

I lean on Your loving arms

You comfort me.

Why would I ever trade

Our special love

With any lowly thing on earth?

Wouldn't it be crazy?

Matchless

Priceless

Too precious for words

Infinitely beautiful and endless

Your love is my life

I couldn't live without it

You are the air I breathe

You are my very life.

~ Henrietta 

The BEST from the Worst!!!

Victory over Adversity

Sometimes the worst thing that happened

Can turn out to be the best thing!

Think back…

Before the troubles in your life began…

Did you know yourself so well?

No!

There is no mentor like adversity

No teacher who can teach you how to face life better!

The more troubles you have…

The more you learn the wiser you get!!!

Thank God for adversity!

I am a better person than I was before.

I know I have a better future

Because I have learned from the lessons of the past!

I must thank those unwitting people

Whether purposely or not they helped me a lot!

They became instruments in this process of learning

Without them it would not have been possible!

Today I stand in a very good place

A place where I have learned to appreciate myself

Treat myself with value, worth and respect

I have learned to take me and my dreams seriously.

I thank God most of all

Who took the worst that was dealt to me

And turned them all around into the biggest blessing!

Ah! The joy of knowing nothing can hold you down again.

Life

Life

Choices
They make you
or break you
they bring lessons
consequences in our life
things we cannot run away from
things that later define our life.

Experiences
they shape us
and we shape them too
Someone else's actions
and our reactions
our actions
and other's reactions.

Words
they add or take away
meaning and purpose from us
Words thrown at others
hurt wound lacerate
Words spoken softly
heal rebuild and comfort.

Memories
the good and bad of life
living inside our being
fighting a battle to own us
We can live in the past
or learn from the past
and throw away the shards.

Wisdom
knowing what to take
and what to leave
from the myriad experiences
thrown at us
Learning not just from our lives
but from the mistakes of others.

Life
a string of
choices,
experiences,
words,
memories and
wisdom gained.

The Code Blue Campaign

We live in a stressful world. Everyone is going through something. There comes a time in a person's life when the pressure is so high that they are not sure they can make it. It is a time when they need the assurance, support and encouragement of their loved ones, their friends or even someone with the heart to help.

A lot of people who reached the brink didn't know they could ask for help and were lost. We can stop that by reaching out to the people in our lives so that they can overcome whatever it is that is holding them down and be helped.

The Code Blue Campaign is for people of all age groups. It is for students who are going through exam pressure, career pressure, parents pressure or even peer pressure. It is for women who have seen trials in their lives and see no hope. It is for men who feel defeated and desolate. It is for elderly people who feel isolated and lonely with no one to care for them.

It is for those who see no meaning in life. It reminds us that we do have a responsibility in the well being of those around us and this gives us a chance to speak 'Life' into their situations and circumstances.

Let us spread the word around! 'Code Blue' means its time to reach out to someone in need. The person may need a listening ear, a prayer, a helping hand or even professional help. Reach out to them and connect to counselors or trained personnel from NGOs if you cannot handle the matter. But reach out. Your timely help can save someone's life!

The Code Blue Campaign was launched in Hyderabad and a group named 'Youth Alive' provided counselling for those in dire situations. The Deccan Chronicle carried a report about the campaign and soon there were calls coming in from different parts of the Twin cities. There were days when more than 500 calls were received. The Sakshi Newspaper also shared about this campaign and soon calls came in from various districts of AP (at that time it was united!) The campaign went on well during the time that the students were awaiting results and under pressure. After that period there was a decrease in the calls coming in.

Code Blue Campaign can be a boon to people anywhere as its basic idea is to have two words to enable a person to express the greatest trauma they are going through at that time. Anyone should never have to suffer alone. A person who is pushed into a corner and isolated during the worst grief or suffering tends to feel suicidal. He or she feels worthless and unwanted. CBC is an effort to ensure someone at that point in their life can reach out to someone sympathetic who will give them a listening ear and help them through that difficult time in their life.

Here is a link to the lyrics of a song that I wrote that appeals to a person who is feeling suicidal to not take their life.
http://henriettadecruz.blogspot.in/2011/05/life-is-calling-you-song.html

Check out the Facebook page of Code Blue Campaign...
https://www.facebook.com/codebluecampaign?_rdr=p

The article about Code Blue Campaign that appeared in the Deccan Chronicle, Hyderabad.

Code Blue Campaign written about in Sakshi Newspaper

Adieu 2013

As 2013 comes to an end

I find in my hand

A mixed bag of emotions...

A mosaic of lessons and experiences

I have gained from

I will cherish

For life.

A year when I came to terms

With myself

With my life the way it has been

And mustered the courage

To step out to be

The real me

No matter what the cost.

The line is drawn

The lesson learned

The bitter sweet pill swallowed

A gush of hope

Fills the horizon

As dreams long dead

Come back to life.

The long and short

Of life’s story is

No one else lives yours

Just go out and live!

When it’s time to pay

It’s you who pay the price

Why hide when it’s time to shine?

No apologies

To those who never understood

No excuses

For what I was not able to do

No reasons

So someone may accept who I am

If they don’t it’s their loss not mine!

I move on

I will thrive

Who knows how long I have

To live?

These precious moments

When we can leave a trail

Will never come back again.

Live right

Live well

Someday someone

Will your story tell

What do you want it to be?

A story of losses and misery

Or a story of overcoming and victory!!!

I have decided

What I will do...

Thank you God

For 2013

I hope I have learned

All I had to learn

2014 here I come! 

Musings at year end

I stare at

The canvas of my life

Wondering what I should do

With the lines, the dots and the in-betweens

Trying to make sense of the vague things

That filled my life for years. 

The Canvas of Life

As I fumble and fret about things

That didn’t go well for me

I begin to see

Some signs of lessons

I still need to learn.

‘No wonder,’ I tell myself

‘It took so long for me to get here!’

It slowly dawns on me

That if I had the things I asked for

I would not have enjoyed them

With the wrong attitudes within me.

God in His infinite wisdom

Placed obstacles and detours

In my path

Till I was ready to receive

What He had for me...

Graciously, joyfully

And with the right spirit! 

I now see my life

As a mosaic

There are different colored pieces

Of different sizes and shapes

They all come together

And fall in somehow...

Making it beautiful.

There are a few voids

Still left to fill

I’ve decided not to worry about them

God who helped me overcome

The vague things that didn’t make sense

Will surely have it all planned for me

It will all work out for good!

Armed with a new confidence

I set off again

Smiling within myself

Looking forward to good things

Thinking, doing and believing

The best of everything...

Knowing this time

The voids will be filled

I will be whole and happy

For the rest of my life!