I began the
journey of life on the wrong foot
I got
rejected for who I was when I was born
He didn't
want me to be me - a girl
It took
years and years for me to come to terms
with what
happened the day I was born.
Do people
realize what their rejection of others
does to them
as persons?
Do they stop
to think that their words, their expressions
and actions
or inactions are engraving sorrow on a soul?
If they knew
would they still do it?
I didn't
fight for myself, my life, my identity...
I just fit
in... became quiet, unheard and sat in a corner
Because I knew
no one really wanted to know
what I
thought or felt about anything.
If they did,
they would have asked.
Quietness
became a norm
Music became
my friend
Pets the
ones who really loved me
When I
learned to write
it became a
lifeline to express myself.
At every
juncture in life
I had to
struggle, I had to fight
just to hold
on to my right
to be me, to
be myself
Because I
was what some people did not want me to be.
I gave in a
lot of times
Lived empty
to fulfil their whims
moulding
myself to be what they wanted
Negating
myself and who I was
so I could
live on crumbs that looked like acceptance.
I didn't
realize that I did not need
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their
approval to live, to exist
It was not
their decision or choice to make!
My Creator
chose to make me - me!
He designed
me the way I am.
After
getting through many battles I learned
I was worth
something, so my Maker saved me.
The One Who
created me, loved me
He brought
me out of the emptiness
Touched me,
healed me and spoke His love over me.
At times I
felt an anger towards those who despise me
who do not
accept me as I am
and want me
to be less than what I was created to be
to satisfy
their egos, their pride.
Do they have
the right to decide who I should be?
They reject,
they refuse to acknowledge or appreciate
who I am and
what I do
It used to
hurt me, break my heart but not any more.
Their
unwarranted behaviour towards me
shows me how
small, how petty they really are.
Now I am in
a better place
I realize
there is one Person I need to think about
I must
fulfil His purpose and plan for me
I must make
HIM proud of me
I must live
to the full and fulfil my destiny.
If anyone
has the right to be me - it is ME!
If anyone
has the right to live - I do too!
If anyone
tries to rob me of my rights I can fight!
If anyone
tries to snuff out my spirit, I can reject them.
I belong
where I am loved, accepted and celebrated for being me.
~ Henrietta Decruz (C) 2020
