Soul Silence in the Pandemic

When the world seemed to stop

As the pandemic invaded our lives,

Life took a big turn

Thankfully for the better

For some people like me.

Running overtime exhausted,

No time to stop and think,

Dig deep and process internal storms,

The pandemic brought a pace

That made deep pondering possible.

Little did I know

I was digging for treasure

And would ultimately uncover

The biggest truth about my life

And discover who I am.

The freedom gained

Is a joy for life!

The things left behind

Tossed into history

Nothing to cry over.

I celebrate healing

I received restoration

Which only peace and quiet can bring.

Tranquility is a good friend

Of wisdom, I learned.

Work from home and

Not chasing the clock felt good.

But there were complaints

A bulging midriff and

Not seeing nature.

After the pandemic began

The whole world changed in the ‘Reset.’

My life too ushered a reset

As I sifted through life experiences

And put together the ‘real’ me.

I learned stillness and silence

Can do you good

Embrace the timeless moment

And make it only yours

No one can live life for you.

- Henrietta Decruz 

Journey Homewards

Among the vast sea of humankind

I searched for peace and tranquility

And I found none.

Strife, stress and an unending story

Of unrequited, incomplete relationships

Despair, loneliness and isolation

Caused by the desire to live by higher values

Turns and turns, bends on the road

That led me nowhere…

Ultimately I realized I searched amiss

In the wrong place for the wrong things!

My search brought me home to me

What I sought was all within me

The guidance and direction I needed

Was given to me in written words

In my haste to taste fulfillment

I had forsaken them…

What folly!

I shut the door to the outer world

And began to pick the pieces

Of my fragmented heart and mind

One by one I put them back together.

The written word was truly a guide

The Spirit who gave it ever-present

I looked back at the whole road I travelled

And learned what He said was true.

Every time I had fumbled and fallen

Every time I had bruised my soul

It was a sign I lost control

Of this person I was entrusted with.

He had given me standards to be safe

I had not heeded them

My folly led to my downfall.

Woken up from a dazed sleep

I dusted off the frivolous thoughts

The vagrant ways I had adopted

In a bid to be accepted

By those who rejected me.

I took back the power

I had given other people

It made me feel complete and whole

For the first time in my life.

I felt I regained my goodness

My worth and my identity.  

Now I stand in a better place

Peace within and with myself

I know I have made mistakes

I know I did much wrong

The good thing is that I learned

From all of them.

I know I don’t want to go back

I know the road ahead is treacherous

But there is a guide, there is a plan

And I have to only follow the map 

That will lead me Home!

~ Henrietta Decruz (C) 2016