Do You Know the 'Real' You?

All our lives we live

Thinking we know ourselves.

Imagine the surprise

When you realize

That everything you believed

About yourself

Is a figment

Of someone else’s imagination.



Yes, there are many narratives for a story

The person who lived that story

Knows the whole truth about it,

Or is it really so?

Sometimes the person who lived it

Has also been told a lie

By someone else

For their own selfish interests.



What would it feel like

To realize you are not the centre

The main protagonist

Of your own story?

To learn that you were so naive

You believed a lie

And lived a half life

All your life...



It would feel like betrayal

Wouldn’t it?

To realize that you trusted the liars

More than you trusted yourself

And to realize the truth

That you barely know yourself

That you are miles away

From self-knowledge.



Then you scramble

To pick up the pieces

Of the you, you remembered

Yourself to be.

You step away from the world

Find a comfy corner

Where you can hear

Your own heart beat.



You shun the ones

Who lied to you

And embrace your one true self

Still yet unknown

For you realise

This bond with yourself

Is lifelong

And will last until your last breath.



You allow tears

To run down your face

And look and relook

At every detail

Every memory

In a bid to see beyond

The false narratives

The lies.



When you learn

They made themselves

The hero of your story

And hid you under the carpet

Every time you did

Something good

You feel the anger,

The grief hit you.



You realize your feelings

Were held back

Each and every time

So much that you felt life was shallow

And now you understand

Why you felt

The way you felt

You were not allowed to be you.



It is time to take back

What is yours!

It is time to shun the lies

And embrace the truth

Time to let those feelings flow

And for the liars to know

They cannot have you

They have no right over your life.



At last it feels good

To know the real ‘You’

Finally you know

You are a person

You have the right to be heard

To be counted

To speak for yourself

To live for yourself.



Henrietta Decruz

When the storm blazes all around you

When the storm blazes all around you
and things you were familiar with disappear,
When those you entrusted your faith and hope to,
turn out to be ravagers and betray you,
When human help is far and not to be found
then we turn, turn to God Who alone is just,
The all-seeing, all-knowing God Who doesn't need proof,
for He Himself has witnessed the losses you endured.

Call upon Him, Who has ears and will hear,
Ask Him to do justice, bring peace and comfort
for our hearts are all weary with grief and trauma.
Let Him decide what those men in faceless rioting mobs deserve,
those who orchestrated them and also those who condoned them.
Let Him find the solution to our perplexed minds and hopeless situation
Let Him save this land He loves from destruction by hate-mongers.

Rise up and pray dear people of our land,
Let every man, woman and child rise up from despair,
Let every state in our nation be established in peace,
Let the economy of our country rise up from uncertain times,
Instead of division, attacks and losses
may we hear of unity, growth and prosperity.

~ Henrietta Decruz

"Behold, the Lord’s hand is not shortened at all, that it cannot save, nor His ear dull with deafness, that it cannot hear." Isaiah 59:1

No Regrets

Talking to someone

Retracing steps in life

I realized

I’ve come a long way

I learned

I have grown

I rejoice

I have no regrets.

Though pain stabbed

My inner being

Grief almost

Maimed my soul

My heart cried

Till every tear had run dry

I survived

I lived to tell my story.

At every juncture

Every difficult phase

My heart though grieved

Had made the right decisions

I loved

I gave

I helped

I cared for others.

I thank God

Who has been

My Helper

My Counselor

My Comforter

My Guide

My Strength

My Protector.

Years of pain

Numbed my mind

Yet He kept me going

He kept me sane

His love a balm

Over every wound

His words so loving

It gave me life.

It may seem

I am a hero

But I know

The real hero

Is God, the One

Who silently shielded

Carried and held me 

Till I found myself. 

- Henrietta Decruz

The Everyday Hero

When your little toe hurts

It hurts so badly

It makes you think

The pain can kill you!

It does not matter then

How you look

What clothes you wear

What others think about you…

What will happen tomorrow

Or one hour later.

Trauma robs a person

Of everything enjoyable

Locks them in a dungeon

Made of grief and despair

Sorrow that cannot be shared…

A lonely desolate place

Where no one understands

No one speaks to you

No one cares

Death lingers around.

Prolonged trauma kills

Persona, dreams, desires for joy

Imagine a time when

Every breath weighs a ton

Every moment is unbearable

And you feel you just can’t go on.

Imagine living with your worst enemy

Someone who wants you dead

Someone who wished you were never born

Someone who hates who you are…

Whenever you meet a person

Dressed shabbily, looking drab

Downcast eyes, sad countenance

Covered with an invisibility cloak

Suggesting they don’t exist

Don’t write them off.

Chances are they are survivors

Fighting the greatest battle

Of their lives

Fighting just to live!

Some of such heroes

Live under cover

Different identities

Different faces

For different people or places.

They don’t want to burden you

With their sad stories

But their inner walls

Have a thousand trophies

Of times they made it by a whisker.

I salute these heroes

Of everyday life

Who never get a mention

In a newspaper, website or tweet

Someday as they keep fighting

They will make a better life

Someday their beacon

Will become a flame

That guides many others

Helps them find their way home!

~ Henrietta Decruz